Twisted Mind of an Apple

It is almost 1am PST. I could not sleep yet. I am looking at the Webcast of the most extreme cycling race I have ever known. It is currently going on right now and the main reason I am getting myself up to date is that my husband is in it.

HooDoo this kinds of race? It is actually a 24 hour bike race. My husband is with his 3 other team mates rotating every 15 mins through out the race course of over 500 miles. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy and only people like my husband and his team mates and hundred other crazy people would do such a thing.

Seriously, I asked Tony why would he do such a thing. His answer, to test himself of something he hasn’t done yet. I have never met any person who is very much physically and mentally competitive like my husband.  Now I am scared for Michael if he gets both.

I thought what the Road Rage team is doing is at the extreme, being a four-man team. I jsut found out that there are people doing this all by themselves. There is a category of a Solo with support vehicle and there is the Voyager which is individual without any support. Meaning, they have to bring all the water, food and equipment that they would need on their bikes for the duration of the 24-hour race. And now that is capital CRAZY.

I guess I am going to bed now. I am sure they will be all done by sunshine.  I am proud of this people even if many thinks they crazy for doing such things. Just imagine 500miles on bike at night, in the middle of nowhere, up in the mountains. It takes a lot of guts and not just fancy shmancy bragging rights they own after this feat.

HOODOO 500?  Go Team Road Rage!!! Go Tony!!! And I am the proud wife this crazy cyclist.

http://www.planetultra.com/Hoodoo500/2008Webcast/index.htm

Thank you to my wondeful student Sarah. She told me that she was running the Nike race in Singapore. And thank you to my LA Leggers group who shared their 50% off registration code to the Nike human race.

It was a great experience. It was a reality check for me since I have not ran nor trained in a year since the LA Marathon in 2007.

This time it was very different. Knowing it is just going to be a very short run (10K) so no preparation was needed like what I used to do before. But training runs are a definite must to get a better time which at this reality my energy could not afford being a full time mom. I know it is easy to say that I could just toss Michael in the baby jogger and pretty much run all day. I could do that if I am only thinking of myself. I do not think that it would be very enriching for him if that is all we are going to do.

Tony looked after Michael while I was in the race. It was a very good bonding time for the two of them. I told them not to wait for me because I am going to take my time. Since it was held in downtown LA, there is a lot of chance I would see salons or spas open. I jokingly told my husband I may swing by to get a spa during a race so don’t wait up.

Like in most races I have done, this is the only one that I have done at night. The race started at exactly 8:31 in the evening. Usually, that is our time to get ready for bed. Meaning, I will be done when it is past our bed time. I really hope I wont fall asleep while running.

It was very chilly but when you are out of shape and trying to finish the race and thinking about the 7 month old baby that may be crying looking for mommy, I didn’t have the chance to just think of myself. It was very different running when I was still a single and now that I have a baby and a bigger baby.

There were 12,000 runners but I managed squeeze in myself to the very front of the start line, an old habit that’s hard to break even if I know I am not competitive. I ran my fastest mile ever at 9mins 6sec. I told myself, my husband is right women tend to run faster after giving birth.  But of course, there are a ton of faster and much more competitive people on the loose that were passing me. I just took a good pace and enjoyed my Ipod. There were times I had to run-walk because I was just too damn tired catching my breath. But towards the end it all felt easy and it all went so smoothly however, for some reason I was lost in the conversion of km-mile marker. I thought there were still 2.5 miles to go when I saw the big 7.5(km) sign in the dark. I guess not running for a long time makes me an idiot. Maybe I was already dreaming because I finished when it is time for bed.

The happiest part was when I finished, my two babies were waiting for me. I finished in 1 hour 10mins 57 secs and went back to being a mom soon after.
Feels great!!!

I know I am going to piss off a lot if not a few people with this comment. But I guess it is a sign of economic struggle here in  America that is affecting the Hollywood showbizness. Why do they have to resurrect and recycle old. I mean it is fine but please try reinventing the old to fit the new may probably work. With the case of the NKOTB it is not. They are presenting these older and definitely not kids anymore members still dancing the same steps and singing the same songs that made them popular when they were what? 12?

It is a horrible sight to watch really.  They seem to trying to hard to appeal to their old market who are very much like them….married with children. But they are singing the same songs if not new songs but carrying the themes of being single.

I am not ashamed that I was a fan of them when I was in highschool. But I am not going to buy their albums now even if I do not have save up for it like back them….hahahaha. so ridiculous. Or go to their concerts and buy their posters  like an avid fanatic. I am sure this is what they are hoping to get out of their old fans. Ok I am done with NKOTB.

Another recycle is the BH90210 that is a very horrible decision by the producers. Luckily, I did see the pilot. But enough publicity about it is getting into my nerves. Are they just doing this to re-employ the old cast because they have very stale careers? 
Living near the entertainment capital means that you get hit by the waves of shobizness first. That is why I am reacting this way because the main business that is keeping the Hollywood economy alive is very much in recession in quality as well.

Geez I can’t wait til they show LOST and HEROES this fall.

Aaaah! Finally my 7 1/2 month old son finally went to take his nap. Now I could unwind and stretch out my weary arms and legs a little bit.

Yes, raising a child may be physically demanding and sometimes energy consuming but it is very deeply rewarding. My mind  would often wander when I am rocking my baby to sleep and I do not have the Ipone handy for immediate thirst for surfing.

Yes, I am living in America as what most FIlipinos would be dreaming of now. I feel very at home where I am now (our very humble one-bedroom condo in the middle of crazy Los Angeles) and I have almost entirely opened up my close-minded sould and to be finally get infiltrated to the core by the American culture (as if I am not yet infiltrated yet coming from Manila).

I guess I felt a big resistance to adapt when I got here 3 years ago. It felt like I struggled to hold on to the “Filipinoness” of me to retain my identity not just as a Filipino but me as an individual. I never even bothered to notice the way I was communicating so long as I speak the English the way I am accustomed with. To me, it is enough that I am able to get my point across. It did not seem to matter to me if I did not sould like any of the people  deal with. That was probably why they can easily say I am new here.

It took years and a handful of constructive criticisms from my loving husband before I finally decided that I could put more effort letting go of the unnecessary Filipinoness I was holding on to.

One thing I have noticed was my new interest in politics and curretn events. For people who know me really well, this would be the last of my interests. They know I am very apathetic to all this power trip non-sense. To me politics, mostly in the Philippines is a terrible waste of time, money and energy. But now that I am a mother to Michael, I feel that I owe it to him to at least be aware of what his future going to be like based on the agendas of the politicians wanting to get a hand in running the most powerful nation on earth. It is not much on joining the rally for the candidate that I feel most likely to have the same values as I have. It is more of knowing who among the people surrounding us have the same values as we have based on the candidate that they pick.

I know that I do not have yet a complete understanding of what America is like to a real American, I wish I have though. To my amazement, all the perceptions I had once before coming here all turned out to be a big misconception. I am afraid that most if not all Filipinos who have no idea of what the real thing is here in America would still be living in a dissolutioned mindset or a dream based on a fiction.

This reminds me of the movie The Matrix. It is very hard to explain but indeed it is based on the current set up of this country. The only difference is there are no robots manipulating the humans. It is the same humans manipulating their kind.

The non-stop gas price hike may have brought not so many good effects as what they report in the news. I could not imagine that this same predicament is what America is going through just now, as this has been in Manila for years just before and after the Erap administration. Statistically, America has one of the lowest gas prices in the world for years despite it is one of the highest oil consumer. And just now it is catching up with the third world in terms of burdening the fuel cost.

I am not going to analyze the economics of this. I merely want to state a simple realization. I believe that it has more good than bad effects to many people only if they look at it in good sense. There is a balancing effect that this situation is going to bring out. A big change that is long over due. For a simple life like ours, it is rather a sweet change to simplify an already simple lifestyle we have chosen.
It is not at all tightening the budget since I still get my once a week Starbucks mocha frappuccino. Maybe it is more of changing what is obsolete in this day and age.   What does not work anymore gets to be tossed out of the mainstream. Like what for me though? Oh well, I’m sure I would know as the day goes by if I don’t need it anymore. As for now, I have lots of clutter to go through and garbage to throw away. I will have start inside my car to save that 15% in my fuel consumption.

I feel like I am going crazy right now. I thought I was done with the first trimester and I am almost home free from morning sickness and craving. Oh yes I am done with the morning sickness but it was replaced by extreme cravings. It gets a bit frustrating that what I crave for this very moment, or I would say since last midnight was ISAW. When ISAW crossed my mind while I was doing my nightly prayer before going to sleep, I was immensely distracted. My mind started to reminisce the good old times in UP while waiting for the ISAW’s to be cooked. I am such a big eater when it comes to ISAW. I could finish more than 25 sticks of various ISAW at one time. Then we will transfer to another ISAW stand because their chicken ISAW is better. You know that each vendor has its specialty. Darn thinking more about it in detail makes me extremely hungry. I never cared about the bacteria scare. If it is not clean then a lot of people mostly UP students would have been sick long before.

Right now is extremely difficult for me when it comes to satisfying my craving. I guess I am in the Filipino food mode. But not just any Filipino food. I have pakbet sitting on top of the stove right now but that’s not what I want to eat anymore. I finished a whole kaldero full of Chicken Tinola a couple of days ago. I cooked Menudo, Adobo, Sinigang,  Tortang Talong and a lot more. So I am done with those basic Filipino dishes.  I hope someone could just at least understand the feeling I am having.  I want ISAW in the middle of Boulder, Colorado, a place with very few Asians and mostly white people. Even if Boulder is so gorgeous with all respect, now I feel like that it is a wrong place to be in for a pregnant person born and raised in the Philippines. Cravings for ISAW can be a serious issue in all aspects. So even if I get access to ISAW right this very moment, the ambiance of  eating ISAW in UP is not going to be replicated here. Although Boulder may seem to be like UP Los Banos in many angles, still who would eat ISAW with me with all gusto and to-die-for feeling like I have.

How can I get my hands to those very delicious ISAW dipped in slightly spicy vinegar filled with garlic and onions?

I was trying to explain in very simple and plain English what this I am feeling. Ok, I craved for steak and mashed potato early on. It was very easy, there are like tons of restaurants serving that over here. But all I want is ISAW and it has to be now. The need to satisfy is extremely important. Not even a prime cut steak could take out this craving.

So my mind works like a crazy scientist trying to look for a solution. They obviously are not selling chicken gut or pig intestines anywhere here. Unlike in Divisoria where they sell bags of uncooked ISAW.  Of course, they would throw that away here. It is not approved by the Food Board as safe to be consumed.  And even if I would ask the local butcher shop they are not allowed to sell it to anybody or else they would get a bad evaluation. But who would know? And much worse they would only think I am crazy. Fine! Do I just buy a live chicken and kill it to extract it guts out? No! This is Boulder goodness gracious. I am still logical and sensible in some ways if not most even if I am under the spell of isaw. Actually, I have not met a single Filipino in my months of stay here and if my neighbors see me kill a chicken and excitedly take out the guts and barbecue it, they would only think Filipinos are crazy. They might call the animal rights society or something. Then I am screwed.

So what should I do? I am just boiling eggs now. Maybe it would immediately kill the hunger and I will just deal with this mind over matter internally and hopefully soon it would go away. The power of the mind is surely stronger than any of these hormonal imbalances taking over me.

Oh yeah that’s right, I will cook tokwa’t baboy and pritong lumpia that would take my mind away the ISAW that I am dying to eat right now!I sure hope it works.

I promise, when I get back to Manila by next year, I will set aside one day just for ISAW DAY! All my friends are invited and it’s on me. I will binge on ISAW and no one can stop me eat all the ISAW I missed all these years. I just hope the manong would have enough ISAW for that day!

I love you ISAW!!! I trully miss you!

Downtown Boulder is just amazing. One dull day can be taken away by just strolling by the open mall in Pearl Street. Last Friday, we were heading for a weekend drink to a local hotel and we saw people gathered around a street performer who spontaneously  shouts out the location as random people from the crowd gives their zip code. He calls himself the zip code man nonetheless. What truly amazed me was when tourist gave him their zips and he was able to give them the exact location (county, city and state). One other tourist was from Brussels, Belgium and another from a province in France and both couldn’t believe how this guy could possibly guess the exact place with just a zip code. There were other 15 of us who participated in the amazing zip name game and aside from naming the exact place of the zip, the zip code man guessed most of the restaurants we have been to the last time. I couldn’t believe it! It’s just amazing! Imagine we were in the middle of Boulder and this random guy knew where most of us dined out where we originally came from! Amazingly freaky! One girl had goosebumps when she gave her telephone number to the zip code man and he guessed her name. So he could be also called the directory man, I guess.

Come to think of it, we thought he had an earpiece and some spy surrounding us or maybe some buddies working in the crowd. But this guy does this for a voluntary donation of $1-$5. So it is very doubtful he could afford to hire a crew. Maybe or maybe not.  Nevertheless, it was a very entertaining night to start my very first night of alcohol-free drinking in Boulder.

Have you ever felt that sometimes the power of change is stronger than your own will power? Of course, there is always something hidden inside our heads like the things we wish for and hope for to work and happen our own little ways. But that’s not the case no matter how frustrating it gets. There is just too many  forces revolving around us that sometimes if not most of the time, the situation just gets too overwhelming to handle and almost drive us to the border of insanity.  Despite this, we still work on our goals and wait patiently that all our efforts result towards the right direction. Although, for me there is another direction that somewhat disguises as an accidental blessing. And this has always been the case when it comes to almost anything. Just like a small decision of getting a very unfamiliar blended English toffee mocha in a local coffee shop the day before a major interview in a huge architectural firm. I only drink coffee occasionally, like once in a blue moon, but I thought I had to use this $1.00 off coupon before it expires and so I decided to buy a cup. Ok, there are multiple reasons why I got a cup of coffee, I was feeling light headed after working 9 hours with just one meal and both hunger and thirst makes me just want to collapse. I do not like the idea of driving in the freeway in this miserable feeling going home. And so the coffee entered my mind. In short, that strong coffee concoction kept me awake all night. Given this, I turn into panic knowing that I have to be mentally sharp the next day. But I forced myself to sleep and by the time my wandering mind got tired it was already past 3 am.

I am a very detailed planner ever since. I forecast my life in such a detail and systematic way. However, in irony I am also the most spontaneous person I know being an evident creature of habit. I write things down all the time before I do anything. Yeah, I guess including when to have sex and take a shit….lol! I am just kidding.

I guess what I am getting at is, no matter how carefully planned and insanely detailed I come up with my plans, the Universe has a way of telling me that what I know I want and need is not good enough for me and that there are better things out there to look for that I should focus on.  As stubborn as I get sometimes, the Universe has a very strong way of putting up a discipline upon me. Now I can certainly say that the Universe has a way of saying that there is no single person who is entirely in control of his life.

More seriously speaking, I have learned to embrace the goodness of it all. The coffee put me in a very drugged feeling this morning that my inhibitions and filter are turned off. Imagine, just a simple coffee can turn my entire day around. I’m still in bed typing this and I am shouting at myself to get up and get ready soon.

Come to think of it, the things that work for me are the ones that I let unfold by itself. So I will let this day unfold itself to me, less worries and no stress. As Pumba and Timon sings to Simba in the Lion King…..HAKUNA MATATA!

It means no worries.
So why changes? I am moving to Colorado for 3 months coming mid May. The divorce judgment is coming out in a few weeks and I am in love all over again…not just with another human being but this time with myself as well.

Yey! It was an amazing experience! I finished it in 5 hours 19 minutes
(my stop watch)! Official chip time 5:24:27 Just awesome even after two leg cramps! I would do it again next year for sure but heck I am going to start cycling really soon as my post-marathon thingy! Good Job Apple! Good Job! One hell of an experience. Thanks to all the people and team mates who helped me! =)

Waking up at 4:30 in the morning just to be greeted with extreme coldness was no joke. Much more knowing why I had to wake up this early would easily make me faint and would rather take the easy way which is going back to bed and fill my lack of sleep. But heck no! I have already decided long before I signed up for anything that I will do everything to finish what I had started.

Yes 26 Miles it is. Just a training though I am treating it as an actual marathon. This was my very first and longest run ever and what could be changing my mind in doing this?—Nothing of course, aside from the curiousity of whether I could finish it or not? and whether it would be full of paint or fun? Or on a deeper note,  what realizations would I be having while taking this self-inflicted pain, hmmp…..maybe an unexpected joy? Surely!

Before I have set my mind into this big long run, I sort had my own experiment. This time I took out all the supplements I was taking, namely glucosamine for the joints and the coctail of multivitamins- centrum vitamin E, Iron what have you. Yup! Nothing of sorts for the past couple of  months. I just tried sticking into a lot of normal eating habits- Rice, Pasta and a lot more of rice. True enough for me, I never needed those expensive sports supplement claiming to be effective in adding mileage in building up stamina and endurance.

The funiest thing was, I had not run in a week prior to running this 26 miles. I totally slacked in my mid week training. The last run I did was the 12 mile and before that nothing.  I guess I was just too lazy when I know I am going to run by myself. It seems like I am a social runner. The group running really helped me go out there and explore the sceneries on foot.

Going back to the 26 miles, we all met up at the Santa Monica Pier. A little stretching and chatter before we lined up by two’s. It was 5:30am when we took off. I told myself twice that this is going to be hours before we are going to finished so better save up every single bit of my energy and not go hard. This is not a sprint and no attacking for the first 3 hours. I already knew about that but I was just checking and reassuring myself if I completely understood what I am getting myself into. Marathon is a totally different discipline than sprinting. Luckily, I had a running mate who kept me company. Her name is Pati and it’s great to know that it’s also her first 26 miles. Pati is probably in her early 40’s. A shrink with Phd, that’s why the group calls her DocPati.  So I am in good hands in this run plus a free psychotherapy session to go with it. So they say, people doing the marathon are crazy. Yeah, like I really needed that! I already am crazy even before considering doing the marathon! hehehe =p

Anyway.

For the first hour, I kept myself company with my Ipod. There was nothing to be seen by the beach because it was still too dark out. By the time the groups sprang out of the speedway through Venice, we were greeted by the misty sunrise. It was pretty and gorgeous! This view was very much enticing and refreshing like a fresh brewed coffee in a cold morning. Aside from the healthy fit, I guess this is the equally best reward of running and cycling.

We head up to the bridgewater where the UCLA dragon boat usually meets up for their training. Another awesome view! All of a sudden, the ocean turned into bright blue and the opulent townhouses sprinkled around the surrounding coastline seemed to complement the gorgeous million dollar view. It felt like I wanna run some more! Well, I never had to worry because we still had 15 miles to go.  At that point I was feeling pumped up and everything just felt great! I had no signs of fatigue or joint pains. Unbelievable! Before I realized it had been two and a half hours that past. Although we had to turn back, it felt even better because the ocean view was way much prettier heading back. With the Santa Monica Mountains as a backdrop. Just pretty, pretty, pretty!

Thank God for the volunteers in the water stations and the generous water and Clif shots they provided us. When we got back tothe pier, I sprinted all the way to my self-designated finish line not knowing that the group actually put a finish line banner further back. Soon after we past the finish line they handed us lots of bananas (believe me after the run the banana seemed like steak to me) and a commemorative pin  with the 26mile and the year 2007 in it!(a token for a job well done) Awesome!

I finished it in 5 hours and 23.5 mins. Though it felt like I had just ran 10K. It was just great and unbelievably satisfying!!!

It’s about noon time now and I can’t believe I am walking like nothing happened. Seriously, when I did the 23 and the half a month ago, I wasnt able to walk for two days! And that was with mid-week training run. Oh well, I guess everything just fell in the right equation. Thank God I survived!